PROPS.
Adapted for theatre by Joseph Ogden
The play is set in the props department of a
northern theatre. In this particular theatre the ‘Properties storeroom’ is situated in below the stage.
From time to time we hear the things happening on stage (It is referred to as
“Above.”) There is sign “Silence throughout all performances!” Most important,
are the two supporting beams standing at 45° from the floor to
the ‘cyc’ wall set far right and far left and form two sides of the acting
area. They are there to stop the theatre falling down. (Note: For those you on
tour or play odd shaped studio theatres, or playing in the round, set two
broken beams at 7 feet high or so, at 45° from floor to mid
air, with broken tops (as in broken columns)this will work symbolically. The
door to the office opens onto one of the beams, making it difficult to get in
and out of.
To The room is felled with props for the theatre
that ‘Props’ is being played in. All
the scenes take place in this one space, using props to create different
scenes.
The theatre employs three part-time staff and a
full-time administrator. Soon we are to
meet a new member to the team, Paul a young man who’s been in a bit of trouble.
We will be following the progress of Paul and the lives of office administrator
Gemma and properties storeroom supervisor Angus. The other to two employees, a
woman and a man, always seem to be in black, so we’ll use them as prop movers
and if they’re very lucky they’ll have some lines to say.
ACT 1 Audience enters.
As the audience enters we see Angus; a man in his
mid seventies is sat in a large armchair, He his knitting a pair of socks. Paul
is laid on a hospital bed, Gemma and the female relative (in black) sit,
weeping and praying over him. While the doctor in a dark suite watches on.
For the first few minutes a radio sitcom can just
about be heard, (‘Beloved Enemies - Goldfish by Joe Ogden, would work well.’)
Once the front of house as given the go ahead. Gemma and Doctor leave together,
he comforts her. The woman in black remains.
LX house lights down, DBO on all lights.
Paul leaves the bed and exits.
LX lights come up on scene.
Scene 1 opening
scene
The theatre’s residential amateur dramatic group is
in rehearsal this very moment as we speak. They’re doing a version of King Lear
and a very brave attempt it is too.
The muffled sounds of the rehearsals become more
clear.
A woman in black makes the bed and moves it to one
side.
King
Lean:(off, wimpy and amuture.). . .Oh storm, tempest do rage, rage. .
.
Director:(Perceived
English off) No, no, no, no, noo! Got to be much, much more louder! Now
come along!
SFX Radio Announcer from radio: That was the afternoon Comedy series Beloved Enemies, this episode goldfish by Joe Ogden. Now we have a sever weather warning.
King Lear: (Off) All right!, ALL
RIGHT.
SFX: Radio Announcer: Warning
all areas… (full weather forecast over below.)
King
Lear: Storm, tempest storm. . . (the speech from King
Lear over above.)
The two compete with each other in a cacophony of
appalling weather.
TO BE COMPLETED
Angus
(When it all stops, he turns off the radio.):better get mi brolly
then.
Scene 2 Angus
Life on the stage
‘you
could have been’
Paul joins the team.
Scene 3 Meeting
of all three
Gemma: you been drinking?
Augus:
It’s a welcome to the team toot, It’s not as if we were on drugs.
Paul:
(Smiling, feeling the warmth of the drink.) It not as if we be popping ees,
missh Roydes
Gemma: (She pulls a face and
look as Augus, who looks away as if butter would melt in his mouth.) Its
Royale, you must of miss heard,
Augus:
(aloud whisper, aside) Royal pain in the backside...
Gemma:
And it was shown that monkeys feed on those E’ things were slow and they lost
brain cells.
Paul:
Aye, but they were bloody good dancers.
Gemma: Men, impossible! (She exits)
Angus: Hope
you’ve brought something to eat, the chippy only opens Fridays, Saturdays
dinner and we only work ‘alf day Fridays and only Saturday, run weeks.
Paul: Ya
Cheese sandwich. You?
Angus: Cooked
chicken on ‘pan’ breed, if you know what pan breed is?
Paul: No
(under-laugh) some Scottish delicately I’m sure.
Scene
4 Gemma’s Prince
Gemma: Sometimes when I sit in
my office, I feel so lonely, it feels like going to explode. The hurt builds up
on my neck. Then moves up slowly into my head. I want to cry out ‘love me’ some
body, just hold me, love me… That’s what I want to say but I’d feel so? (Pause) Once; (Smiles) once I slept on a beach with a prince. (Thinking) Oh, why did I only sleep? He
was a man and he needed more, (quickly) though he never said, not once. I lay
across his chest, well I was young, It was so warn, - that night. I can hear
the music playing somewhere. We lay on the sand (laughs) just sleeping.
From time to time, I’d
waken and this frill would run up through my entire body, a tingle, I can feel
it even now – Then I would fall back to asleep. Then wake and feel the feeling, all over again. And that was the
best time… the only time.
Oh my beautiful prince, I
was such a giddy girl, I thought I had all the time in the world. Then morning
came. I danced and did cartwheels on the beach as the sun ruse. He did laugh.
Then he says to me. “Come with me tonight to Malaya, where you and I shall be
free these royal obligations.” (Quickly)
I said yes - but first I needed to go home just for a few weeks, back to
England. Tell my mum and dad my plans. And have a yellow fever shoot. Well you
know what Malaya was like back in the seventies. “Then I will send for you my
cartwheeling lo-ver.” He says. We took the taxi to the airport, I paid for it
So home I came. (Pause) I think he
must have forgotten my address, they lead such busy lives, princes do. I’ve
kept myself special for him – and one day, (pause)
never. And even if he did send for me
now I’d have to sort out a booster shot – yellow fever injections only lasts
ten years and - it hurts – still.
Scene 5 Both on the mat.
Scene 6 Paul
and Angus, making French braces
Angus: Aye,
every actor is looking for that secret, even when they don’t know it. You see
the two masks - comedy ‘n tragedy. Well that’s what the world sees but because
we’re actors, we see the masks from the other side. The all things are revered.
He gets an insight from the inside.
In comedy there’s sadness
and pain; in tragedy there’s always a cosmic irony. An actor rides the crest of the wave, where he can be seen, a
good actor never forgets the undercurrent, - the back flow that returns ‘em.
You gotta’t remember to always keep in balance. Always keep working and
building on your skills. Then - and only then will you start to see third mask,
the real secret of actors. To see
yourself who is not yourself.
Scene 7 Paul, Gamma, Angus and the two in team
meeting.
Gemma has returned from the man management course with some new ideas.
Gemma: Um, um.
Angus: Aye, aye
Paul: err? err?
Gemma:
Now think of your Spirit animal, mine’s the majestic eagle.
Angus: I’m the white elephant
Paul: I’ll shell be err, err an intestinal gut
parasite.
Scene
11 Angus
talks about how he can still make it to as an actor to Paul.
Scene 12 The theatre is to close
ACT 2
Scene 1 Show
up and running
Scene 2 The
news at six
Scene 3 The a
day later and news is bad
Scene
4 Angus is ill
Scene 5 Hospital
Angus hands over a script
Angus
dies.
Scene 6 Paul
make it up with parents
Scene 7 Angus returns to his Armchair
Gamma calls in at the office looking beautiful. Paul
taking one last look around – Gamma kisses Paul. Paul brings down the building.
Epilogue
Angus in white, Paul off in white, sub in bed, gamma
takes about her new life. Paul “Do you want fries with that.”