Beloved Enemies

Radio sitcom

The lose of love’s labours.

By Joe Ogden.

Perry: (fade in.) I’m not sure – some times I wound whether I should bother with the opposite sex. I mean most just drive ‘y up the wall.

Maria: But Perry I thought you when out with Roxanne – I’m was sure you were seeing her when I moved in. . .

Perry: Shush. . .

Maria: What?

Perry: Joey was going out with Roxanne at the same time – About six months.

Maria: I know she was two timing Joey – she moved in with him

Perry: Well sort of, Joey’s a bit of a Lad though - as you now – he was still seeing Big Élan – As a friend, you understand?

Maria: I think so. . .

Perry: Well Joey he’s over at Élan’s and I think she was well ‘fed up’ with the situation so she went. . .

Maria: With you?

Perry: No. She went with her old boyfriend – Pip – from college – sent her that thank-you card.

Maria: Oh him – but he’s with that…

Perry: We come to that later – So Joey who was with Roxanne was with Élan and Roxanne came home with Pip. Are you with me?

Maria: Yes.

Perry: So she, Roxanne arrives back here with Pip – see me in the living room – she makes up an excuse and they both go to her room, making sure I see them – me being friendly with Joey.

Maria: Gosh.

Perry: Well I’m don’t know what her intension was before they went in but, at about midnight – I was watching ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.’ On the telly and Pip came out the room big grin on his face said good night to me and went.

Maria: Did he know she was with Joey?

Perry: ‘Y__ but he didn’t like Joey that much to bother.

Maria: And Roxanne?

Perry: Well I’ve gone off her now – between you and me I think she lost the plot – but then I real though she was lovely, sexy, a bit of. . .

Maria: Okay, Okay I get the picture.

Perry: Well 30 minutes after Pip left she came out just with her dressing gown on, she’d been crying – she made a hot drink and came and sat on the settee – next to me.

Maria: And . . .

Perry: And nothing – well. . .

Maria: Well?

Perry: WELL! – Well she lent against me and said…

Dream music.

Roxanne: I’ve always wanted you from the day me and Joey moved in together, Perry I’ve made a mistake. . .

Perry: what, letting Pip stay in you room went ‘y seeing Joey?

Roxanne: No – That’s just a bit of affection between friends – what do you think I am? In any case Joey’s says he not a jealous man. The thing is I’ve found the person I’m in love with, not just love I mean ‘in’ love.

Perry: oh who?

Roxanne: Joey of course! He’s so interesting

Perry: (Doubtful) Joey – interesting? I’d like to have what he has.

Roxanne: I knew you’d agree but I’m still young – I haven’t lived yet and I’ve made the mistake of falling in love to soon and I don’t even know if I like him, now? I feel tapped by him.

Dream music.

Maria: Roxanne said all that? – She’s chucked Joey out now though.

Perry: ‘Y but she’s not kicked him out the house as she.

Maria: Well it was his room first – but he didn’t pay the rent for all that time.

Perry: Anyway whenever he went to see Élan – she would stay with me – she called it affection but I fell in love with something inside her.

Maria: Why did it end?

Perry: Like you - I asked to many questions. I suppose she’s alright really just don’t understand her needs.

Maria: Unlike Joey, the joy of her life.

They both laugh.

Perry: (Still Laughing) so long as she happy. – Does that answer the question ‘Why I didn’t move out’?

Next Scene.

Roxanne: (fade in) I don’t know what it is about the people I know – nobody takes me and Joey seriously!

Maria: I thought you’d kicked him out? He’s been sleeping in the living room for the last three months?

Roxanne: Shows he loves me – he hasn’t move out – you know how it works, treat men to kind, they lose interest.

Maria: Most are wallies anyway – you have to sit on the there knee before they realise you fancy them – not that I do that.

Roxanne: If talk you to much they say we’re nagging – we don’t say anything and we’re hiding something. And all the questions they ask – it’s like they were trying to do in your mind. . .

Maria: That’s just male insecurity – I read it in ‘More’.

Roxanne: I wish men would come with a bloody manual. . .

Maria: Page one – this model needs lots of sex. . .

Both women laugh out load.

Roxanne: Still nice to be appreciated – like being held by a man.

Maria: I don’t need a man to feel appreciated. . .

Roxanne: still it’s nice.

Maria: ‘Y a few times a night at least.

They laugh again.

Maria: You know when I moved in, you and Perry where. . .

Roxanne: Close – for a while.

Maria: he’s nice.

Roxanne: He can be – It just all the questions – Do I still love Joey? He knew I wouldn’t stop loving Joey – then he’d ask ‘What did I think about him?’ – that’s Perry that is - Perry was just a friend I found comfort in when Joey was away – In a stable relationship you can share love with others without the silly worries of jealousy. But then…

Maria: Then?

Roxanne: Things changed Maria. I could only be with him a few hours a month and all he wanted to do was make love – I did it just to stop the bloody questions.

Maria: But he loves, loved you, you know.

Roxanne: ‘Y but Some men look for hurt in a relationship (laughs) – I remember the first time we really talked. Do you know Pip? When Joey was out at his friend’s, me and Pip came back here he had something to tell me. Perry was in the living room, so we when to my room. . .

Maria: What did he tell you?

Roxanne: Well

Maria: well?

Roxanne: Well he came out to me.

Maria: he what?!

Roxanne: He’s gay, and he thanked me for showing him the way – sort of thing.

Maria: the way (Laughs)

Roxanne: Oh shush you – first time I talked with Perry proper was that night. I was coming from the kitchen and he was watching the late film ‘Lie deeply my lovely’ …

Dream music.

Perry: Are you going to join me?

Roxanne: I’ve wanted to talk with you from the day, me and Joey moved in – Perry I’ve made a mistake. . .

Perry: What, sleeping with Pip when you’re meant be Joey’s lover?

Roxanne: No – he’s just an affectionate friend – what do you think I am? Joey’s not a jealous man. The thing is I’ve found the person I’m in love with, not just love I mean ‘in’ love.

Perry: oh who?

Roxanne: Joey of course! He’s so interesting

Perry: Joey is interesting I wish I were him at times.

Roxanne: I knew you’d agree - but I’m still young – I haven’t lived yet and I’ve made the mistake of falling in love to soon and I don’t even know if I like him, like this, I feel I’ve trapped him.

Perry: come here have a hug.

Dream Music.

Roxanne: He was nice, I was very fond of him – I couldn’t love him and I think he was only in it for the love making.

Maria: How did it end?

Roxanne: One day he asked me if I would love him if Joey left me – I told him the wrong thing – I said ‘no’.

Maria: I suppose you can learn to love some one more if you love them already but it’s hard to love someone you’ve never loved.

Roxanne: How can a man understand what it’s like to be a woman – I’ll never understand men and Perry will never understand me.

Maria: How can they – poor sods

END